When Rachel and Rob found out they were expecting their little girl, Bella, in 2022, front of mind was that they both wanted the chance to take on the role of primary carer. They knew this meant they could both connect with their baby and create a more equitable caregiving rhythm. Since they both work at REA Group, it made it easy to understand and leverage the policies available to them. Rob took three weeks secondary carer’s leave initially when Bella was born, before working hybrid so he could be around to support Rachel at home.
Can you tell us about your experience taking parental leave?
Rachel:
While on parental leave with a newborn, it was wonderful having Rob around while he worked from home – it was certainly great to go for a walk as a family at lunchtime. It did wonders for my recovery and Rob was able to build a great bond with our daughter too. Upon my return to work, Rob was able to take 2 months primary carer’s leave. This really helped my transition and gave me time to settle in before Bella started childcare.
Rob:
The time I had with Bella was a highlight for me, and a really eye-opening experience. I enjoyed it so much, that afterwards I decided to use my long service leave over six months (one day a week) to spend a day with her each week.
REA has a hybrid work model, how does this help you juggle work and life responsibilities – before and after Bella was born?
Rachel:
During the first 15-20 weeks of pregnancy, I suffered from intense and quite debilitating morning sickness. My manager was extremely supportive of me working almost fully remote during this period, and then again in the last trimester. In the lead up to Bella’s birth, it was essential in the final weeks that we avoided catching COVID, which would have meant travelling to a different hospital and not having access to our obstetrician or the five days support post-delivery.
Rob:
We’re fortunate that REA Group’s hybrid working policy encourages teams to develop ways of working that achieves the best of both worlds, flexibility for the home and coming into the office for moments that matter. For us this usually means spending two days in the office and working from home our other workdays.
Rachel:
Now that Bella is at childcare, we sit down at the start of each week and chat about what we both have on, who needs to attend the office on what days, and who can cover pickups and drop offs. The biggest challenge is juggling work with Bella’s routines, meal preparation, home duties and the endless childcare illnesses. Hybrid enables us to balance these (often conflicting) priorities. Hybrid working is a game changer for primary carers navigating the life stage of having young children. It helps them remain in the workforce, which from a company perspective, is a small investment in the scheme of things for the value they bring to an organisation.
What happens when life (AKA childcare illness) throws you a curveball?
Rob:
One of the biggest challenges for us is when Bella gets sick from childcare. Our plans tend to go out the window. It’s taken me a while to fully adjust to this chaos, but at the end of the day you need to remind yourself things will eventually get done, and it’s ok to ask others for help, whether it’s the grandparents or your team. I’d be lying if I said it was easy, but I think being a parent makes you ruthless at prioritising what really matters at work and at home.
Rachel:
Our days in the office are not the same, so we can take the stress off the person in the office to make it home in time for childcare responsibilities. The key to managing unplanned changes is being flexible (something we’re still learning to do) and accepting that your calendar may need to change too. My tip is to really focus on the top priority things. Each morning, think about the three most important things to do each day and tackle those first.
Rachel & Rob:
We both have a ritual of doing a written list at the end of the working day to help ‘park’ things ready to be picked up first thing the next day. After work, take a moment to switch into your home mode so you can be fully present for your family.
You’re almost two years into your parenting journey, can you share your top tips for new parents?
Rachel & Rob:
In the grand scheme of things, you really start to understand what is important. You also very clearly start to understand what the things are you must do and behaviours you will/won’t accept from family, friends, and colleagues. If if anything, it really frees you to be your authentic self and focus on what you want for your family.
Our tips for new parents:
- If you can, both parties should have a go at being primary carer, you learn so much.
- Do the hospital sessions on pregnancy, becoming a new parent (there was also a course for new fathers which gave great tips on how dads can help in the early weeks) – we learnt a lot from these.
- Learn from the nurses in the hospital, they have a lot of great advice so pick what works for you.
- Don’t be afraid to set boundaries with family early on, everyone wants to see, kiss, hug and tell you how to raise your child, but remember they’re your child, you and your partner decide how you want to raise them.
- Batch cook or meal service for the early weeks! Dinner ladies (or similar services) were life savers. We received a voucher in our new-parent bag and it made those early weeks a bit easier by having meals readily available.
- Accept help (with cleaning/cooking etc.) that allows you to focus on the job at hand (or sleep).
- Wrapping the baby up like a cocoon is hard (we had a master escape artist), we used ergo pouches, which are very handy for tired parents.
- Upgrade your cloud photo storage, make sure it’s protected with a second factor (but also, put the phone away and be present in the moment.)
- Nobody is born a parent and has all the answers – avoid the lies of social media, talk to people you trust about the highs and lows, and make sure you have the right support network around you.
What has been your biggest highlight so far?
Rachel & Rob:
Watching Bella grow and develop, discovering something new each day, smile, dance and laugh. Becoming a parent teaches you more about yourself than anything else we’ve experienced!
Rachel is a Delivery Manager, managing leaders in REA Group’s Consumer Product Experience and Rob is an Executive Manager in Tech and Data, leading a team of Cyber Security leaders delivering products and services to support the business.
