As the eldest of three daughters, having moved from Sri Lanka to Australia in the mid-80s, there has been a lot to navigate in terms of cultures and generations – both knowingly and unknowingly. This complex cultural backdrop has fueled my passion for promoting conversations about mental health and its impact on our wellbeing as individuals and communities.
As a mum to a teenage son, I learn something new every day about challenging societal gender stereotypes, cultivating healthy relationships, and caring for both ourselves and others. Our family is a unique blend of Indian, Sri Lankan, Christian, Buddhist, and Hindu influences, living in Naarm. This diversity sparks robust conversations about community building, culture, and the power of stories. We strive to continue the best parts of past traditions while forming new ones that work for us. Sometimes, though, my husband and son give me the “not everything needs to be a life lesson” look!
My professional journey has been deeply influenced by my caregiving experience. When remote work wasn’t an option after my parental leave at a previous workplace, I chose to work part-time. I was also running a dance school that started as a hobby but has now evolved into a community-building venture, contributing to fundraising initiatives. I acknowledge the privilege of being able to work part-time, raise a child, and continue dancing.
Caregiving has also taught me the importance of finding my tribe—people who support me without judgment and engage in kind conversations about my blind spots. Relationships can change, and that’s okay. It’s crucial to acknowledge our interconnectedness and support each other through varied life experiences.
A typical day for me involves balancing work and caregiving responsibilities. I work three days a week, spread over five days, which works well for our small, collaborative team. My day starts with school drop-off, shared with my husband, followed by my workday, ending in time for school pick-up and after-school activities. I bulk cook on Monday nights, but we also opt for takeaway when needed. I teach a dance class on Wednesday nights, so my husband and son handle dinner—a routine that started during lockdown. Exercise is also a priority for my physical and mental health, and I aim to get 20-30 minutes of activity three times a week.
Despite having a solid routine, there have been moments of failure. Once after a performance, I left the keys inside the car door, and my then two-year-old son locked himself in. Panicking, my parents and I tried to get him to unlock the door, which he eventually did. Since then, I’ve learned to keep keys in a cross-body sling bag when in costume!
Successes in managing work and caregiving are luckily more frequent! A recent highlight was organizing a dance festival weekend that included my son as part of the dance crew. My work gives us personal leave days as well as the choice to work through certain public holidays and take that at another time, so I used 2 of those days on the Friday and the Monday of the festival weekend, which made the coordination so much easier.
Self-care is crucial for me! Keeping an updated to-do list accessible via phone and laptop helps reduce stress. Dancing around the house, catching up with friends, and listening to audiobooks or podcasts are other forms of self-care for me.
My top tips for other caregivers:
- Connect and share stories with the people around you (the good, the bad and the ugly).
- Move your body daily (even if it’s just five minutes of dancing).
- Adopt an iterative approach to improvement: plan, analyze, build, test, refine, and repeat. Continuous improvement is the goal, not perfection!
