Despite doing all your homework, having a child via surrogacy is full of twists and turns, according to General Manager Joseph Gallego Iori. He shares his experience of bringing two beautiful children into the world, how he treasures the privilege of being a parent, and how right now, ‘me time’ is having all sorts of awesome family adventures together in the backyard!
You are the proud parent of two children! Can you tell us about your journey to parenthood?
My husband and I have two children, and we had them via a surrogacy arrangement. Preston is four, and Ashton is one, and it was a long, arduous process, especially being in a same-sex relationship. Unlike traditional family makeups, our journey involved many parties to create our two beautiful children.
How did you prepare yourselves?
We always knew we wanted to have children, but the dynamic of our relationship called for intervention outside of the two of us.
Having children is a privilege, and it costs an exorbitant amount of money to create a little bundle of joy for a same-sex couple. So, we saved for years, researched, and did our homework to ensure we knew what this journey would be like. Even with all the knowledge, there were still twists and turns that we couldn’t have prepared for.
How did your employer support you during this time?
I was lucky to work with my current employer when our second, Ashton, was born. I took a leave of absence in the early days of his life, and the experience was seamless. I am thankful that my employer supports the makeup of my family—I never felt awkward in asking questions about the dynamic of my leave of absence because it included a non-traditional scenario. The representatives were always supportive and insightful.
What do you love most about your organization’s support of its caregivers?
Work-life balance is always tough. But if you love what you do, it takes time and care to make it work. That sometimes includes long days. My organization respects the balance and supports its caregivers.
How has parenthood changed your perspective on life and your career?
Parenthood changed us the moment we first saw them. You are now in this world for one reason—to make sure your children are loved, nurtured, and cared for. We take pride in saying to our friends and family that we hope our children leave this world just a little bit better than the way they found it and always to be kind. We hope instilling this mindset supports them as they grow and create families themselves.
How do your children keep you on your toes? What are the challenges?
They are roughly three years apart, and we are in our forties! Toddlerhood for any parent is a rollercoaster, but taking on this endeavor in your forties is tougher—jumping on the floor or rolling in the grass can take a toll on the joints!
We try each day to keep them busy with fun activities, and Preston is now in school, which helps.
The pandemic has been rough with interacting and developing social skills that normally come naturally, so we are glad he’s in school, learning, and making friends now.
As a people manager, how did you stay connected with your team whilst on leave?
I have two families, my traditional one and my work fam! The pandemic meant it took longer for my team to meet Ashton, but that’s what video calling is for! They threw a lovely baby shower for my husband and me. It was beautiful!
What have you learned that could practically help others who are considering surrogacy?
You have to have a strong mindset. We miscarried twice before Preston. That was not something we ever anticipated, and our hearts still ache for what could have been. The birth of Preston healed much of those holes left. Surrogacy can be costly—it involves multiple parties and can be challenging.
We are lucky to live in a liberal state that supports our journey, but it is not an option for some. There is still work to do! My husband and I have not forgotten about our road to parenthood, so we continue to advocate for those that need assistance and support.
What does ‘me time’ look like for you? What activities do you do to relax and recharge?
‘Me time’ looks like a solid seven hours of sleep! Because we both work, ‘me time’ is ‘we time’, and we bring our boys along for the ride!
It is a privilege to be a parent, and we do not take that lightly. We have a beautiful home perfect for a young family. The boys get to enjoy a huge backyard with a pool, sandbox, and all the toys we can fill it with. BBQs, outdoor movie nights, and even the occasional campout are the fun things we do at home together, and I wouldn’t change a thing!
Some final fun questions. Could you finish these sentences…
My favorite time of the day is… anytime I can Netflix and chill!
I’m inspired by… day to day acts of kindness. Witnessing these ‘just because’ gestures warms my heart.
I’m happiest when… my family is under one roof, and we are all goofing around having fun!
I’m binge-watching… all things Real Housewives!
Working parents are… pretty special people! We give it all and then some. We also win as a team, and we all share similar struggles, so we need to reach out to one another and use the support that surrounds us.
